Another fairly reliable indicator that should be mentioned here is the level of normal functioning. Those in the dark night, though they, may be feeling inwardly that their world has collapsed, will generally continue to function in their job and relationships. The general disposition of acceptance of God's will contrasts markedly with the self-preoccupation, at times severe, of clinical depression, which often brings function in the world to a standstill.

As the foregoing example suggests, the method of Centering Prayer involves a good deal of interface with psychology; in fact, it was specifically developed as a dialogue between contemporary psychological models and the classic language of the Christian spiritual path. In the model of Centering Prayer, the heart of Christian purification lies in the struggle with unconscious motivations, and the prayer itself encourages the emergence of previously unconscious material. Thus, the spiritual director needs to be prepared for what emerges--not to assume the role of psychotherapist oneself, but to offer encouragement while recognizing when additional expertise may be called for. Gerald May, a clinical psychologist and co-founder of the Shalem Institute for Spiritual Direction, distinguishes very well between psychological counseling, pastoral counseling, and spiritual direction. Although these overlap in some degree, each one has a particular emphasis and an integrity that needs to be respected. Thus, there needs to be close cooperation between psychology and spiritual direction. Neurotic and even psychotic symptoms can arise in the course of the spiritual journey, and in some cases there has to be referral for psychological help. This does not mean that the spiritual journey has come to an end for these people. It simply means that special care and treatment may be needed because of emotional damage surfacing in the course of spiritual development. One's capacity to face the dark side of one's personality increases in direct proportion as one's trust in God develops, and even more when one experiences oneself as loved by God. All the defenses disintegrate in the presence of knowing one is loved by God.

When difficulties arise, the directee normally needs to be encouraged to persevere in the practice, not to shop around for another method. Centering Prayer has the great benefit of providing an established framework in which the night of sense takes place with fewer traumatic side effects because one is accustomed to letting go of thoughts and feelings as basic to the practice. A spiritual director experienced in Centering Prayer will not be "spooked" by the impression that the directee is getting worse instead of better and can offer the crucially needed encouragement to relax and trust the process.

Only very occasionally are there danger signs, and almost always these are the result of an underlying emotional fragility or of a willfulness motivated by the false self coopting the process and pushing too hard. The psyche has a tremendous capacity for health and normally will not unload more than a person is psychologically ready to face. If unloading happens too fast, prayer can be cut back, but only when there is serious depression or prepsychotic symptoms should the prayer be eliminated altogether. Twenty to thirty minutes twice a day seems to be the normal time span to enable the prayer to do its work. More than three hours a day generally requires supervision by an experienced guide or the format of Centering Prayer Intensive Retreats. The same format should not be continued as a regular practice once back at home.

A spiritual director needs to be aware of the dynamics of his or her own personality with its dark side and its special needs. Many people go into psychological counseling in order to know more about their own needs or to distract themselves from them. In the psychological relationship, just as in prayer, two things are involved: the development of bonding, rapport, and friendship with the therapist, and the healing or treatment that is required in order to restore health to the whole person. Excessive or misdirected friendship can get in the way of the healing. Or the treatment may be too harsh. Hence the delicate balance that is required in the spiritual direction of contemplatives. If our own psychological dynamics are at work, or if we have our own unfulfilled emotional needs, then our spiritual direction may become possessive or we can become too emotionally involved. This is manifested when we feel hurt when someone we are directing decides to go to someone else. Feelings of jealousy or envy are a sure sign of attachment. Emotional over involvement is also a sure sign that it is time to back off or get psychological help ourselves. At times the over involvement can lead to sexual feelings toward the person that we are trying to help. Or a youthful person who comes to us for direction can become the son or daughter that we never had.

On the side of the directee, transference can become dependency if at some point the spiritual director does not insist on the directee's taking personal responsibility for himself or herself. The director has to respect the spiritual integrity of the directee and not lay any trips--emotional, intellectual, or disciplinary--on that person. The encouragement of personal responsibility is essential. The other person should always feel free to leave the relationship.

As spiritual directors, we need to pay attention to our own spiritual nurturing. We ourselves have to be qualified by faithful practice of contemplative prayer and by taking the time to remain authentic and to grow by means of regular retreat days and yearly retreats to deepen our own experience of the path. The deeper our experience of the path, the more we will be able to support others on theirs.

A word about people who have been deeply involved in another tradition and who want to teach Centering Prayer. This seems to be a natural consequence of their previous experience. Not a few persons who have deeply involved themselves in an Eastern tradition have felt a desire to return to their roots, especially if they were raised as Christians. The need for a personal aspect in their relationship with God opens up as their Eastern practice quiets their emotions and lays to rest any indignation they may have had toward their early Christian training. Even though these people are often very capable and are good teachers in the sense of having extensive practical experience in Eastern meditation, they need to take plenty of time to reassimilate the conceptual background of Christian prayer and study the tradition in depth. Otherwise, without realizing it, they may insinuate a number of principles or attitudes from the previous tradition in which they were deeply involved and mix in elements of their previous meditative methods rather than teach the integrity of the Centering Prayer method. They should work with someone else who has a lot of experience before setting out on their own.

To sum up, spiritual direction should address itself to where each person is. Beginners on the journey need concrete instruction as regards the regular practice of prayer, a simple rule of life, and suggested readings. For those who are established in a prayer practice, there is need for Lectio Divina and study as well as practice for daily life. Several appropriate practices are suggested in the final chapter of my book Invitation to Love (Element, 1992). In general, their goal is to encourage the contemplative attitudes of consent and a prompt letting go of afflictive emotions arising in daily life. And of course, encouragement becomes essential as the dark night unfolds.

For those who are more advanced on the spiritual journey, the support of friendship and understanding is the greatest gift one can offer. One can usually help in the measure of one's own experience of the dark nights and passive purification. The encouragement and reassurance of one who has been over the same path and the validation of one's own experience as coming from God that only an experienced spiritual director can give are enormous gifts. The best direction aims at enabling or empowering the directee to graduate to the more refined and delicate guidance of the Spirit in all matters. The director becomes a fellow traveler and friend on the journey, and the directee and director speak the truth to each other in love. Speaking just the truth can be too harsh. Speaking the truth in love is mutually sustaining.

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Excerpted from Intimacy with God by Fr. Thomas Keating

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