Crisis of Faith/Crisis of Love

by Fr. Thomas Keating

Chapter 19

Peter: The Formation of a Disciple

Part III

One day Jesus was preaching near the shore of the lake. A huge crowd was surging all around him so that he had scarcely enough room in which to breathe. There were several boats lying close to the shore. Jesus got into Peter's boat and preached from there. Having finished his talk to the people, he said to Simon, "Put out into the deep, and have your men lower the nets for a haul."

Notice the delicacy of Jesus' request. This was no big business of which Peter was the boss of, and when later on he boasted, "We have left everything and followed you," it was a lot of baloney. He had only two small boats and a couple of hired men. But Jesus spoke to him as you would speak to somebody who is a big executive: "Ask your men to lower the nets."

Peter remonstrated. He was a successful fisherman and thought he knew his business. He might have responded to Jesus in this fashion, "Master, you are a teacher by profession. I don't expect you to know much about fishing. For one thing, we have labored all night and caught nothing. Besides, the fish on this particular lake do not bite at all during the day."

In other words. "You know your business, and  know mine . . . However, to satisfy you, we'll let down the nets once again."

Thus Peter graciously condescended to Jesus' request. So the men set to their oars, went out into the  middle of the lake and let down the nets. All at once, to their astonishment, the nets started tightening. Then they began to bulge. The boat started tipping to one side. The men yelled to their companions in the other boat to come and help them. John and James were in business with them. They hastened out in their boat. There was such an extraordinary number of fish in this single haul that the nets were threatening to break. In the end both boats were so filled with fish that they were on the point of sinking. This was the kind of miracle that would impress any fisherman, especially after having labored all night and caught nothing.

When Peter saw what had happened, his eyes got bigger and bigger and bigger. Suddenly he threw himself at Jesus' feet. He was used to giving orders to his two or three hired men, and maybe to his mother-in-law. True to style, he blurted out, "Lord, leave my boat, for I am a sinful man!" He was so excited and thrilled, he did not know just what he was saying.

"A feeling of awe had gripped him, as it had all of his associates, because of the number of fish caught in the haul."

The event startled Peter's mind. The miraculous haul of fish was his definitive call to become a disciple of Jesus. It was the kind of approach that went straight to his heart, which suited his personality, his life circumstances, even his business. It was the moment of grace.

The gospel tells us that when they brought the boats to shore, Peter, James and John abandoned everything and became his followers. This is the moment they really were converted and became full-time followers. Before this they had followed him once in a while or for a few days at a time. Now there was a permanent commitment. From this time on, Jesus began to train them in his school of apostolic formation. Jesus worked on the disciples for the next two or three years, with a great deal of failure as well as success.

Among the many miracles that occurred soon after, there is one which is particularly impressive, the raising of Jairus' daughter who was only twelve. When Jesus was told that she had already died, he said to the father, "you have nothing to fear; only have faith that she will be safe."

Jesus always recommended faith to those who did not have it and praised it when ever he found it.

When Jesus arrived at the home of the little girl, he would not allow anyone to enter the house with him except Peter, James and John. He threw out all the professional mourners and taking the girl by the hand, raised her to life. To be a specially chosen witness of this astonishing miracle was a fact not lost on Peter.

A little later, Jesus chose twelve apostles from among his disciples and gave them a mission. He told them to go into all the towns and villages that he planned to visit. "I give you power to cast out demons and to heal the sick," he said, "Tell them the kingdom of heaven is at hand."

So they went off on their mission. Demons were driven out in droves; people were cured of all kinds of diseases; the whole mission was a smashing success. They were pleased with themselves as well as with the results.

As soon as they returned, Jesus gathered them together and for the sake of privacy, withdrew to an out-of-the-way place for a period of rest and prayer. When they had calmed down, he said to them: "Don't be so full of joy over all the miraculous powers you exercised, but rather rejoice because your names are written in heaven."

In this way, he gently put the lid on their excessive enthusiasm for that is secondary. The main thing is that their names are written in heaven, which might be paraphrased, "You have been called by my Father. That is the great thing about you. He loves you. And these wonders you have been able to do, well, fine if you can do them. But do not get too excited about them."

Then comes the miracle of the multiplication of the loaves and fishes. A huge crowd had gathered to hear Jesus. It was getting late and the apostles were worried. "We had better send everybody home," they said.

But Jesus replied, "No, pass out the bread and fish that you have."

The disciples started passing out the food and as they did, to their great amazement, the bread and fish began multiplying in their hands. We speak today about active participation in the liturgy, but here was active participation in a miracle! You can imagine what a state of mind Peter was in. After being singled out to be one of the three to see the little girl raised from the dead; after his success on the mission of the apostles; and now active participation in the miracle of the the loaves! He must have been just floating! This is what might be called one of his "up" periods.

To be continued

More information can be obtained by reading the book Crisis of Faith/Crisis of Love by Fr. Thomas Keating.  It is offered in our